Jonathan Matthew Smucker

DO NOT:

1. forget to say please and thank you
2. neglect to welcome newcomers
3. be overly protective about ideas you hope to spread
4. pretend you can make big changes without building broad alliances
5. give the finger to your allies
6. heckle Civil Rights leaders
7. tell a black person that voting doesn’t matter
8. tell anyone that voting doesn’t matter
9. insist on a “diversity of tactics” at the expense of a diversity of participants
10. ignore patriarchy
11. assume you are the most radical person in the room
12. assume that people who look more normal than you are less radical than you
13. confuse poor personal hygiene with radicalism
14. confuse the political philosophy of anarchism with weird haircuts and monochromatic wardrobes
15. forget that most of your revolutionary heroes often wore suits
16. look like a protester
17. make a religion out of your decision-making process
18. meet more than you work
19. over-saturate working group email lists
20. mic-check in a space where talking would suffice
21. get too attached to your tactics
22. assume that something that worked once will work again
23. be disinterested in the details of your particular context
24. fetishize occupying outdoor space
25. dismiss the value of occupying outdoor space
26. forget to eat
27. forget to sleep
28. act like a jerk because you forgot to eat and sleep
29. reckon you don’t need to prep before a press interview
30. fail to get a second opinion
31. stop using a phrase because it becomes popular
32. need to be the most radical kid on the block
33. mistake utopianism for social change strategy
34. say that “things will have to get worse before they get better”
35. abhor reforms that would meaningfully improve real people’s lives
36. fetishize revolutionary violence
37. confuse a revolutionary moment with an actual revolution
38. believe a mass movement will ignite spontaneously
39. fail to map the terrain
40. gravitate uncritically toward the most hardcore idea
41. fancy that “autonomy” means you can do whatever the hell you want without consideration for how it might impact others
42. drink the subcultural Kool-Aid
43. fall into groupthink
44. spout jargon that doesn’t mean anything to most people
45. be fooled into thinking the word “neoliberal” is somehow precise
46. disdain experience and expertise
47. have more answers than questions
48. believe we don’t have leaders
49. believe that we don’t need leaders
50. believe that we don’t need organization
51. be self-righteous about your lack of organization
52. start a totally redundant working group
53. make a habit of knocking down people who step up
54. act like every problem is a crisis
55. mock people whose political analyses are less developed than yours
56. fail to consider how outsiders might perceive you
57. mistake 400 strangers mic-checking in a park for functional decision-making
58. conclude that hyper-transparency inherently means inclusiveness
59. over-generalize
60. lump all your enemies together
61. choose esoteric targets
62. mistake the phrase “fuck the corporate media” for a communications strategy
63. assume bad intentions
64. assume something is getting done just because it was said in a meeting
65. lump all your allies together
66. yell at Kanye when he shows up at the park
67. slam Miley Cyrus on Twitter for her music video that supports you
68. think you have to agree with everything an organization has ever done in order to align with them on some things
69. impose a purity test
70. set a high bar for entry
71. neglect to build on-ramps
72. use “security culture” as cover for your clique
73. become a “cool kid”
74. suppose you can build a mass movement from scratch
75. undervalue resources
76. flake on important things people are counting on you for
77. taunt cops
78. be sectarian
79. be a narcissist
80. bang on drums at 2AM
81. dismiss the complaints of supportive neighbors
82. burn bridges faster than you can build them
83. steal things from churches
84. steal sacred items from churches
85. piss where you sleep
86. piss where other people sleep
87. piss where other people hang out
88. piss (or shit) on neighbors’ doorsteps
89. accommodate destructive people
90. let “damage control” take up most of your time and energy
91. be an asshole
92. yell at your comrades
93. forget to tell your friends that you appreciate them
94. fail to be cordial toward people who aren’t your friends
95. be petty
96. neglect to make good and legible signs
97. forget to drink water
98. forget to exercise
99. forget to brush your teeth
100. introduce yourself as a condiment